Sponsor for Dorset North Speak Out!:

sponsor this section

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE CONSERVATIVE

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his kettle with water to prepare his morning tea/coffee. The water is clean and good, because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take, because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat, because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labelled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents, because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean, because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

Joe drives to work in a safe regulated car because meddling liberals fought for more safety features and standards.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, pension, paternity leave, paid holidays and sick pay because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.

Joe hurts himself at work and an ambulance takes him to A&E. He receives free at the point of use treatment thanks to bloody liberal socialists who formed the NHS.

Joe gets home and relaxes by turning on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that his beloved Conservatives have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

Joe is blissful in his ignorance...

The End.

From an essay...

share this: